Pan Ai

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Full Name: Pan Ai
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Race: Ryoshin (Human)
Languages: Jiaayu
Birthplace: Ryoshu
Occupation: Shrine Maiden

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Hair Color: Dark Brown
Hair Style: Long, Tied w/ Ribbons
Eye Color: Deep Blue
Skin Tone: Oriental
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 136lb
Body Type: Skinny, Average Muscle Mass

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Biography:
On the northern coast of Ryoshu is a sleepy fishing village; not too far from which, seated atop a majestic sea-side cliff, is one of many monasteries to dot the landscape of Ryoshu. Dedicated primarily to the spring-time goddess, Sylandra, the monastery provides healing and spiritual guidance to those who seek it.

Like many monasteries, this one is largely self-sustainable with large gardens, amenities such as shrines, homes, and even a tea house. This is the world in which the Pan family resides. As part of the monastery community, every family member is expected to help perform the duties that keep things running; and from an early of age of eight, Ai has been performing as a Shrine Maiden, keeping to and attending the shrine to Sylandra.

Around her twelveth year, Ai and a young boy become fast friends after his parents make a visit to the monastery. The boy, being taught by his father, offers an extension to Ai, which she willingly accepts. The boy's father, coming from a line of military-men, teaches the two basic disciplines of martial arts and later in use of weapons.

For Ai, one weapon in particular struck her fancy, the woldo: a shorter, heavier version of other bladed spears, that requires a certain finesse to use efficiently. During this time also, Ai is being mentored in the monastery on using neromancy, a family tradition to aid in meditations as well as fostering peaceful thoughts (of which none would be heard of when she leaves Ryoshu).

She learns, trains, and practices with these two disciplines for around twenty years until word arrives about the formation of a contingency of priests, monks, and maidens to sail across the Divide to the western continent in search of artifacts with particular power, said to be locked away in the so-called "Savage Lands."

Upon hearing this Ai immediately signs on with the contingency and is soon followed by her childhood friend. Sailing over a period of several months to the remote mountain village of Estavyr...

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Skills:
Melee
Over several years of training, Ai seems quite confident in her skills, though she makes several mistakes, she can hold her own. Against particularly talented (or trained) combatants, she'd definitely require some assistance.

Neromancy
This is where Ai's true potential really unfolds. Having trained more specifically with neromancy over these nearly twenty years, Ai has developed a number of ways to manipulate water to her advantage, among which these are fairly common.

• Ice Needle: Manipulating globs of ice and pulling them slowly towards a target as they freeze forms a fair missile which is then propelled through the air, impacting with the average force of an arrow, though not likely to penetrate, it will cause nasty bruises and dents in armour.
  
• Ice Form: Ice Form allows Ai to morph water into any shape (typically a spear) and flash freeze it to add integrity over the standard 'crawling ice' method she uses for Ice Needle. Typically, an Ice Form will last two or three blows with a traditional weapon before breaking and can be 'patched' if there is a long enough pause in blows.
  
• Dampening Field: With no pun intended, dampening field is the manipulation of liquid water into a shield of sorts. Useful in defending against missiles and even melee blows if given proper warning. The water is manipulated to increase surface tension to slow, or even stop in some cases, incoming objects.
  

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Deity: Sylandra
Weaponry:

• 1x Woldo
  

Apparel:

• 1x Red Hakama
  
• 1x White Kimono
  
• ?x White Hair Ties
  

Miscellaneous:

• 1x Large Waterskin
  

Rewritten, makes more sense.
More lore-friendly. (Hopefully)

I enjoyed our fight, much fun.

And hah, special technique of healing.

First and foremost:

Krug wrote:

Yeah, there's been some good improvements here, but I can't let the Japanese name fly.

Ryoshu is meant to be Chinese in its naming, and that's the lore. I can't really give this my approval whilst a name like this still stands.

And I know I talked to you before but her healing sounds a little inexplicable, vague, and again not really outlined in the canon. You'll have to go over that again, cause otherwise it sort of negates every balancing factor we included in divine magic and magic in general.

Also she trained magic since ten? Girl would be feeling some pretty harsh side effects by now, I reckon. The way you were walking on water, too, was a little bit wonky on server from what I read in terms of a constant cast - sooooo, I dunno. I'm apprehensive.

Shrine maiden I can allow, I quite like the idea though I may deviate it strongly from its traditional roots and imagery.

Krug wrote:

Yeah, there's been some good improvements here, but I can't let the Japanese name fly.

Ryoshu is meant to be Chinese in its naming, and that's the lore. I can't really give this my approval whilst a name like this still stands.

k.

Krug wrote:

And I know I talked to you before but her healing sounds a little inexplicable, vague, and again not really outlined in the canon. You'll have to go over that again, cause otherwise it sort of negates every balancing factor we included in divine magic and magic in general.

Removed. I was basing the mention of healing on the Deities page to refer to some kind of link to the goddess herself.

Krug wrote:

Also she trained magic since ten? Girl would be feeling some pretty harsh side effects by now, I reckon. The way you were walking on water, too, was a little bit wonky on server from what I read in terms of a constant cast - sooooo, I dunno. I'm apprehensive.

"A neromancer may feel cold to the touch often for hours after using their magic, and their breath may be able to be seen leaving them as mist when casting. They have a characteristic blue hue to them after many years of mana exposure, often glazing over as if touched by ice."

I've covered as much as possible for permanent effects, I probably missed something during that fight because I'm not as well-versed as I would like to be.

Okay, since my last attempt to post in this was a huge disaster, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to start with the positives of this character, and then move onto the negatives. All of this represents my opinion, and nothing more.

Positives:

• This page is a marked improvement over the original. I don't know what you and Krug talked about but nearly every issue I had was addressed. The magic is more balanced out, everything makes more sense. I'm glad you could fix this up, especially after well, you know.
  
• I like her choice of weapon. I can see it being something common in Ryoshu, and you seem to have done your homework on what it is and how it's used.
  
• I like to see people create characters together and link up their backstories. It can make RPing much more interesting.
  

Negatives:

• The biography works as it is now, but could benefit from more insight into her character. Has she had any defining moments? When and how did she first meet Ichiro? Why are they friends?
  
• Like Krug said, she would likely be displaying some physical changes associated with lifelong Neromancy.
  

Blue wrote:

Negatives:

• The biography works as it is now, but could benefit from more insight into her character. Has she had any defining moments? When and how did she first meet Ichiro? Why are they friends?
  
• Like Krug said, she would likely be displaying some physical changes associated with lifelong Neromancy.
  

"A neromancer may feel cold to the touch often for hours after using their magic, and their breath may be able to be seen leaving them as mist when casting. They have a characteristic blue hue to them after many years of mana exposure, often glazing over as if touched by ice."

That's from the Schools of Magic page, and I've pretty much done all I can as far as permanent characteristics. I probably missed the things for casting because I'm not as well-versed as I would like to be, also, seeing as how Pac is withdrawing his application for Ichi, I'd like to keep the backstory the way it is for now.

If anyone would like to make a character to fill that gap, I would love that. I'd really hate to have to break down her language barrier just so I can work something out.

You could always RP an NPC, I know that sounds jive, but I'd be okay with it as long as its someone entirely non-combat, non-tradeskill, and fleshed out.

Like your grandpoop or something, write out his own little part below your own profile. I'd see that as no way different than someone RPing a pet or a summoned creature; this Pet may talk and have the ability to reason, but also, it has its own identity - it is not entirely shackled and bound to an 'owner'. That's why I feel this could work.

That's just a suggestion on my part though, which might not fly; even then, its a last resort. Someone could step in to play the part and make it more pleasant, but I'm just trying to help your character idea work.

This page is pretty good, could definitely improve with an additional character to help flesh it out more but I can understand that with people getting comfortable in their characters it can be hard to find others to RP specific characters that help you along, so good luck with that.

Other than that I don't see too many issues with the page personally. I think I can give it a +1 but I'm not sure if I know enough about neromancy. As always make sure you RP the strain magic has on the user.

I'd offer for Kai to be a translator if I didn't live in Australia.

Bump.